I’ve always admired runners, but I never truly believed it was something I’d enjoy. Sure, I signed up for the occasional race here and there and even did a few parkruns at Woodlands Parkrun while I lived in Johannesburg — but I never truly connected with it. Still, I admired the dedication, the discipline, and the joy runners seemed to find in it.
Then came 2023.
I found myself carrying more weight than ever before — both physically and emotionally. Stress from my studies was at an all-time high, and my coping mechanism had become eating my feelings. I’d convince myself that chocolate and oily comfort foods were “fueling my brain” while I worked on my thesis… but the truth was, I was slowly damaging my health. One day, I looked in the mirror and barely recognized the woman staring back at me. The scale read 72kg — and my heart sank.
By early 2024, I’d had enough of feeling sluggish and disconnected from my own body. That’s when I discovered the Couch to 10K running program. The coach was incredibly patient, and training alongside others who were also new to running felt encouraging. We explored the beautiful Southern Suburbs of Cape Town in the evenings, the fresh air on my face making even the hilly runs feel rewarding. I didn’t lose much weight during the program, but I gained something more valuable — the realization that running could actually be enjoyable.
Graduation day came in the form of the Langa 10KM Freedom Run. Running side by side with my coach and crossing the finish line together with the other 13 couchies felt like an unmatched victory. The time on the clock didn’t matter—what mattered was that we had done it. We felt proud and united, even making the front page of the weekly newspaper. The cherry on top was the photos with the mayor of the City of Cape Town.
Motivated by that experience, I set my mind on something I’d always wanted to try — the Totalsports Women’s Race. In 2024, I ran it for the very first time, and it absolutely blew my mind. The atmosphere, the connection, and the sea of women in pink running for a cause — raising awareness about gender-related cancers — filled me with so much energy and hope. I knew right then that I’d be back.
Fast forward to this year’s race. I wasn’t even planning to run — I’m currently participating in a 21-day prayer and fasting programme, and I didn’t want to disrupt my spiritual rhythm. The plan was simple: walk the entire 10KM, enjoy the scenery, and cross the finish line whenever I did. But when I arrived, the atmosphere was electric — the music, the cheers, the sea of smiling faces. Before I knew it, my legs were moving faster, my heart was lighter, and I was running. Every step felt effortless and joyful. I completely forgot my plan to take it slow — and even forgot that I wouldn’t be eating until the fasting break later that day!
This was a huge moment for me because, truth be told, food used to be my biggest motivator. My very first race — the KFC Randburg Harriers 10km Valentine’s Night Race—was exciting mostly because it promised a free KFC breakfast upon completion. I ran it with a friend, and we grabbed McDonald’s afterwards, and I went to KFC the next day to claim my free breakfast voucher. That’s how I operated for years: writing my thesis meant constant snacking, mostly on unhealthy foods, while hiking meant I could look forward to a big breakfast afterwards.
But this year’s Totalsports Women’s Race was different. It was proof that I no longer need food as a reward to enjoy movement. I can run simply because I love how it makes me feel — strong, free, and alive. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, carried me through this race and provided an enjoyable experience, just as He supports me in every situation or obstacle I face. That’s why it was important for me to honor my fasting commitment; He never lets me down. I love my Lord (Jesus Christ is Lord) sooooo much! I praise the name of my Lord, the Almighty God, for all He does for me. I thank the Holy Spirit for the gentle whispers that remind me of His love.
I crossed the finish line in 1 hour and 35 minutes, proudly accepted my medal, and proceeded with my day to focus on the prayer and fasting program. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better Women’s Day.
To all the women who are battling childhood trauma and have a high Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score—I see you. I am you. My own ACE score is shaped by experiences of emotional abuse, rejection, and abandonment from the very women who were meant to nurture me. Being the only girl among my siblings also added to my sense of isolation, as I never knew what it was like to have that “built-in best friend” many speak of when they talk about sisters. This lack of connection only deepened the pain of rejection I carried from my early life. That is why Women’s Month has often felt triggering for me. But over time, I have learned that I can reclaim my power, celebrate my womanhood, and create new, positive experiences. Participating in the Total Sports Women’s Race is one of those moments—helping me shift my focus, embrace resilience, and choose joy on my healing journey.
In my next blog post, I’ll share how ACEs survivors can recognize emotional triggers and cope with them in healthy, empowering ways.
Happy Women’s Month to all my fellow ACEs survivors!
